Cake
by Stagg B. Tell
Summary: In which gravitation characters make cake. Cracky, and very random. I wrote this forever ago, but it makes me chuckle... so I left it up.


**Title:** Cake

**Rating: **G or K or whatever... cause there's like, nothing bad.

**Disclaimer: **Gravi ain't mine. If it was, it would be really dumb.

**Warnings: **Extreme stupidity and fire.

**A/N: **I USED A FUN CAKE RECIPE! I like that cake. If you review, you're invited to the "party" and can eat the cake! Wh00t. The second chapter will not exist unless i get reviews. DON'T RUIN MY PARTY. anyway, flames are used to burn off Suguru's shirt.

All of the male Employees of N-G productions were in Eiri's kitchen. Tomorrow, they were throwing a party for their fans. And now, it was time to make cake. Ryuichi, Shuichi, Hiroshi, Suguru, Sakano, K, Tohma, and of course Kumagoro gathered in Yuki's thoroughly Americanized kitchen (except for the oven, for some reason), ready to bake the three cakes necessary for the party. They had checked their ingredients, and they had everything. Flour, sugar, baking powder, eggs, milk, vanilla, a dash of salt, and frosting. As the clock struck nine pm, the fun began.

Yuki, surveying the group in his house, said, "I'm not helping. Goodnight." Yuki Eiri stalked off.

With a smile, Tohma said, "We need three cakes, so lets separate into three groups. The Singers, the Musicians, and the Producer Mans. That means we have slightly even groups, if Kumagoro joins the singers."

Everyone nodded, separating into three groups. The Singers consisted of Shuichi, Ryuichi, and Kumagoro. The Musicians were Suguru, Hiro, and Tohma, and the Producer Mans were Sakano and K. Then, it was cake time.

Tohma, taking charge and sounding freakishly like a reality show announcer, said, "The Singers are now given their first task. Preheat the oven."

Shuichi, a strange look in his purple eyes, asked "Whazzat mean?"

"Turn on the oven to 375 degrees… farenheight? What? This oven has Celsius things on it! What's that formula?"

"T/c ((9/5)Tc) + 32," It was Hiro, who had, amazingly, passed school.

Everyone sweat dropped.

Sakano, looking extremely scared, asked, "What's that mean?"  
Suguru, who had been standing behind Hiro, popped his head out into the crowd and said, "191 degrees, obviously. Does anyone here know math?"

Shuichi and Ryuichi both shook their heads vigorously.

Tohma, sweatdropping, said, "Now, Singers, go preheat the oven to 191 degrees."

Shuichi, who was bouncing around, grabbed Ryuichi's arm. As the two of them puzzled over the oven with the help of Kumagoro (who probably had a higher IQ than the two singers put together), Tohma turned back to everyone. "Now, we all get bowls. The Producer Mans would get a bowl for the Singers, who are working on their first task."

Everyone began digging around Yuki's kitchen for a bowl. Tohma scurried off to join Hiro and Suguru, who were looking around in the closets. Sakano, trying to look as if he knew what he was doing, was digging through drawers, eyes welling up with tears. K, after giving up on Sakano, opened the pantry. After finding no bowls, he started using cans of canned goods for bazooka target practice. The Musicians were the first to find a bowl, in a large closet near the fridge. Hiro carried the bowl over to the counter, and then his group began measuring flour for their cake.

K eventually ran out of cans and started shooting at Sakano.

meanwhile, at the oven

Shuichi sat on the floor, bawling his eyes out. "I can't turn on the oven! THE OVEN HATES MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Ryuichi held up Kumagoro's pink paw, making it touch all of the buttons on the oven. Suddenly, a low noise came from the machine. Shuichi, hearing the noise of the oven being turned on, leapt up, tearstains disappearing from his cheeks. He opened the oven, and a blast of heat blew into the singer's hair, sending his pink hair flying backwards on his head. "THE OVEN'S ON!" Shuichi slammed the door shut. It bounced off of the rim of the oven, and then slowly fell over the hot, hollow cube.

Ryuichi and Shuichi spun around simultaneously. Ryuichi, hugging Kumagoro, called, "TOHMA-SAN, WHAT NOW?"

Tohma turned from where he was supervising the Softening of the Butter. "You need a bowl now, Singers."

Shuichi squealed, "I KNOW WHERE YUKI-SAN KEEPS HIS BOWLS!" Shuichi leapt over to the cabinet full of bowls, knocking the Musician's metal bowl to the ground. The contents (flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, milk, and softened butter) of the bowl spread all over the floor, coating that section in off-white, thick paste.

Ryuichi, who had been following Shuichi across the kitchen, slipped in the batter. A white, sugary Ryuichi lifted up his now white stuffed bunny rabbit. "NOOOOOOOO! KUMABORO IS GONNA NEED ANOTHER BATH!"

Shuichi, carrying a large red ceramic bowl, said, "S'ok, Ryu-kun. We have a bowl now!"

Sakano looked up. His eyes were wild; he was on the edge of losing any of the sanity he had ever had. "BOWLS," the producer called, foaming at the mouth, "BOWLS?" The producer started running to the bowls as a hand grenade landed in the spot where his head had been only a moment ago.

K growled. "Get the bowl."

Meanwhile, the Musicians had just finished putting all of the new dry ingredients into their bowl. Suguru was softening the butter as the Producer Mans and the Singers dashed to the counter, carrying their bowls. Ryuichi followed after, leaving a trail of white, sticky footprints. He was about to crash into Suguru, and their unfinished cake batter, when Tohma quickly grabbed Ryuichi's shoulders and guided him around Suguru.

Suguru tuned around to face Tohma. "Arigato, Tohma-san." Suguru then turned back to the milk that he was pouring into the batter. Hiro went off in search of vanilla.

Meanwhile, the Producer Mans were having more trouble. K aimed a gun at a Sakano's head. "Find me the flour and sugar. Now."

Sakano whimpered in fear, and then went over to the pantry. He found the flour and sugar in a matter of five minutes. During that time, the Singers were gathering measuring cups and tablespoons and teaspoons. (If this would make no sense in Japan, too bad. I've never been there.) As the Singers and Producers Mans started mixing their dry ingredients, the Musicians were finding the electric mixer. As the mixer whirred to life, the clock struck ten.

The Musicians were just finished blending, and were about to pour the batter into a greased 8x8 cooking pan, when the acrid smell of smoke filled the room. All three teams turned to face the oven. Behind each group was a different stage in the mixing—the Musicians, farthest along, had their cake ready for the oven. The Producer Mans had their dry ingredients, along with the butter and milk. Behind the Singers was the dry ingredients and some butter, unsoftened. (THE BUTTER MUST BE SOFT! AIEE!) But anyway, back to the acrid smelling smoke that was pouring from the oven that wasn't securely closed. Everyone was frozen to the spot with shock. Suguru was the first to react. He stepped forward to look at the oven. "OH MY GAWD, SOMEONE PUT THE OVEN ON 260 DEGREES, WHICH IS THE FARENHEIGHT EQUIVALENT TO 500, AND IS THE HOTTEST SETTING ON THE OVEN!" Suguru could have yelled about the significance of the oven on 260 degrees farenheight, except a lick of flame leapt forward and almost burned poor Suguru's shirt off. In the end, though, it was opened slightly, and if Suguru's entire chest hadn't been turned red, it might have looked kind of good. (A/N. Did I really write that? O.o) Suguru, after a moment, shouted, "GET A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!" Tohma dashed to a fire extinguisher sitting near the stove, and started squirting it into the oven. Ryuichi's eyes popped out of his head. "WOW!" He dashed over the spray and started running in and out of it. During one of these runs, he knocked into Tohma, sending him spinning. The Singers's and Producer Mans's cake batter was promptly filled with Fire Extinguisher. (Which really doesn't taste good.) As soon as he realized what was happening, he pointed the fire extinguisher to the ground, saving the Musician's cake.

Turning back to the oven, Tohma quickly disemboweled the fire. He replaced the canister, opened the windows to let the smoke out, and turned the oven back down to 191 degrees Celsius.

The Musicians placed their cake in the oven. After setting the oven timer to 20 minutes, the Musicians retired to the table to watch the others make their cakes.

The clock struck eleven.

The Producer mans quickly discarded of their cake batter, because it was full of fire extinguisher. As they began mixing their dry ingredients, the Singers added the milk and butter.

Shuichi looked at the recipe book. "One teaspoon of vanilla." Shuichi grabbed the vanilla, and handed Ryuichi the teaspoon.

"KUMA-CHAN WILL HOLD IT!" So, grasping the paws of Kumagoro between his hands, Ryuichi picked up the little measuring spoon. As Shuichi began carefully pouring the vanilla, the teaspoon fell into the bowl. Shuichi's hands slipped on the bottle, and it, too, fell into the batter, spilling half a bottle of vanilla into the mix.

Shuichi's eyes filled with tears. "OH NO! MY CAKE!"  
Ryuichi smiled. "What's that, Kuma-chan?" Ryuichi nodded. "Kuma-chan says its okay, cause vanilla's yummy!" To prove it, Kumagoro "drank" a bit of the vanilla.

Shuichi nodded. "Now, we need to mix it with an electric mixer." Shuichi picked up the mixer.

Before Shuichi could turn on the mixer, a beeping filled the room. Suguru jumped up, opened the oven, and using oven mitts, took out the cake. It was flat, having not risen.

"UM, Tohma, we have a problem."

Tohma looked over the cake, smiling. "That's true. It must not have risen, because the baking powder did work and then couldn't rise in the oven."

The musicians set to work on another cake.

Shuichi turned to the mixer. He turned it on, and then lowered it into the cake batter. A very wet and brown batter flew everywhere, splattering for the second before the mixer was submerged.

Ryuichi gasped. "THAT'S SO SPARKLY! LEMME TRY!" Ryuichi grabbed at the mixer. After a brief struggle, and a lot of splattering cake, Ryuichi had the mixer. Feeling the vibrations in the handle, he jumped back, still carrying the mixer, Cake, once again, flew everywhere. Finally, the singer's mixing was done. At the same time that the producer mans finished their cake, the Singers finished theirs. (Yuki had two mixers).

A perfect cake and a very wet, brown, and fire extinguishery cake both went into the oven as the Musicians mixed butter and milk into their dry ingredients.

The clock struck midnight.

(A/N: Don't forget, even after the cake is done, we still have to put on the icing!)

Twenty minutes later, the two cakes in the oven were done, and Musicians placed their cake in the oven. The Producer mans left their cake in the pan, waiting for the perfect, golden brown cake to cool. Then, they would take it out and add icing.

The Singers, on the other hand, had a halfway-risen, very brown, and undercooked cake that was letting out the smell of chemical. Shuichi danced a little jig. "IT'S DONE!"

Tohma whispered something to Hiro. Hiro nodded and walked over to the Singers. "Guys, did you use the batter that still had the spray stuff in it?"  
Shuichi nodded. "Is that bad?" His violet eyes welled up with tears.

Hiro nodded. "It is bad, but I can help you make a new, good cake."

Shuichi and Ryuichi grinned like three-year-olds. "YEY!"

Hiro very quickly made a cake, putting it in the oven as the Musician's cake came out. The Singers and Musicians sat and waited for their cakes to cool or cook, and they watched as the producer mans fought over the icing. K shot at Sakano, and the bullet came so close to the producer's head that he fainted on the floor. Leaving Sakano, K began icing his cake.

The clock struck one.

As the Producer Man (only one of them was conscious) finished icing his cake, the Musicians began theirs. As they finished, the Singers started their icing, and though it was sloppy, the singers finished that stage in one try. Setting the cakes aside, the men went to sleep on the kitchen floor.

The clock struck two

The clock struck three.

Hiro awoke at three fifteen, and noticed that all of the cakes had deflated, crystallized, and the icing had melted. He stood, a feeling of dread rising in his gut. He looked at the recipe. "Do not ice cakes unless they are either cold, or will soon be eaten."

Hiro knew that his best bet was to wake Tohma and Suguru. After discarding all of the melted cakes, they each made a cake, and didn't ice them. They then put the cakes in the fridge. As the three retired on the kitchen floor, the clock struck four.

The Musicians rose at seven, took the cakes from the fridge, and iced them. They woke everyone else, and got ready for the party. As the clock struck eight, the first guest arrived.

**A/N:** Remember to review. It's gonna be a fun party! lol. to be continued, as soon as you review.


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